Shop ’till he poops

Spending a day at home improvement stores, Ikea and Makro is exhausting without kids, so imagine to do this with a baby…

Although Mr. X is really easy and we take him everywhere, he really challenged us this day. Beforehand we planned the route and made a list of the things we needed so we wouldn’t waste time on finding our way around. Our visit to Ikea went surprisingly smooth, so that was a good start. Mr. X was happily singing in his stroller and we found all we needed.

Next stop, Makro. Since it was his feeding time we decided I would stay in the car to feed him. After feeding I put Mr. X back in his carseat and gathered my stuff, so we could also go to the shop. I was just about to get out of the car when Mr. X giggled and loudly filled his diaper.

When he poops, immediate action is required. Since Mr. X is my first child I do not have any reference of what is a ‘normal’ amount of poop. I only know that to make sure the poop is not everywhere I should wrap him in plastic from the waistline down. Seriously, he poops with such high pressure that it immediately flows out from all corners of his diaper. Allright, enough details… The TMI-alarm starts beeping 😉

Although I took Mr. X out of his carseat immediately, the first poop stains already became visible in his pants. The quickest option to get him clean and tidy again was to change his diaper in the car. While holding him with one arm I prepped the rear of the car, laid him down, origamied myself around him and looking like a pretzel I managed to get him a clean diaper. It cost me my back, but hey, the little one was happy again and in the end that’s what it’s all about, right? By that time Mi Amor already got back, so no Makro for me. But the good news is it’s time for lunch!

We’d heard about a nice looking restaurant nearby and since it was lunchtime we decided to go there. This restaurant was obviously very popular, so we had to wait for about 20 minutes before we got seated. About 10 minutes later we’d placed our order and were enjoying our drinks. Mr. X on the other hand was not enjoying himself anymore and got a little fussy. I tried to breastfed him, but he refused. Actually, he refused everything I offered. Boob, toy, sitting on my lap, sitting on daddy’s lap. Since the restaurant was packed and Mr. X’s moans became louder and louder I started to look for a quieter place to calm him down. Eventually I ended up in the disabled restroom. There was plenty of space there, so with Mr. X on my arm I walked around singing songs. He calmed down, brightened up and started babbling again. He looked at me like he was saying “Yeah, this is nice mommy, I like!”

With Mr. X all happy again I thought this was a good moment to return to our table where my lover was already enjoying his lunch.
Wrong idea.
The moment I sat down Mr. X started screaming loudly, so with Mr. X on my arm I sprinted back to the disabled restroom. The moment I shut the door Mr. X stopped screaming and again looked at me like he was saying “Yeah, this is nice mommy, I like!”

Ten more minutes of singing and entertaining Mr. X there before I went back to our table so I could have lunch as well. The moment I sat down Mr. X started crying again, so this time my lover takes off with the little one to the oh-so-nice disabled restroom.
After ten minutes or so my lover came back with a sad looking Mr. X on his arm, a tear dramatically rolling down his cheek.
,,Didn’t you hear him?” he asked.
Nope, I did not.
Turned out little Mr. X had been screaming like a pig for ten minutes straight.
His crying had sounded so intense and desperate that a woman had knocked on the door of the disabled restroom to check if the baby was not being slaughtered.

Time to go! We pay the bill, grab our stuff and run off to our car.
The moment the car starts, Mr. X looks at me again like he is saying “Yeah, this is nice mommy, I like!” and then happily drifts off to sleep.

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